25. A Cabin, No Devices, and the Year-End Reflection Ritual Our Family Actually Looks Forward To

For a lot of people, goal setting feels heavy. And as we edge toward the end of the year, it becomes harder to ignore the pressure to reinvent your life by January 1st.

A few years ago, my family figured out how to make this process something we actually look forward to. What began as a slightly awkward COVID-era experiment has turned into one of our favourite annual traditions. It’s reflective, practical, and dare I say… fun. (Yes, even my teenagers are into it!)

In this post, I’m sharing the simple six step framework that helps us look back on the year, set meaningful goals, and stay connected as a family for the year ahead.

Step 1: Create space to reflect

The first thing we learned is that reflection does not happen well when everyone is distracted, half-listening, or still mentally running through their to-do list.

For us, this means changing our physical environment. On New Year’s Eve, we head to a small, off-grid cabin in the high desert. There’s limited technology, very little to do, and plenty of quiet. It allows us to simply step away from normal routines, screens, and noise long enough for everyone to actually slow down and think.

If leaving home isn’t realistic, the principle still applies. Turn off devices, block out time, and make it feel different from an ordinary day. Reflection needs breathing room.

Step 2: Ask better questions

Rather than jumping straight into goals, we start with questions. Instead of “What should I do next year?” we look at “What actually happened this year?”

We reflect on highlights, challenges, and what each person learned. We also look at different areas of life like health, work or school, relationships, finances, and fun. Nothing needs to be perfect or deeply philosophical. The point is awareness.

This step matters because it grounds goal setting in reality. When you understand what worked and what didn’t, the next year becomes much easier to plan.

Step 3: Draft individual goals

Only after reflecting do we move into goals.

Each person drafts a small set of goals for the year ahead, and we keep this intentionally simple. A few goals are more than enough. Some years they’re ambitious, other years they’re very modest, and both are completely fine.

We then share them out loud, not for judgement, but for clarity. It’s often the first time we really hear what each other cares about focusing on next.

Step 4: Set shared family goals

Alongside individual goals, we set a small number of goals for the family as a whole. These usually centre around spending time together, shared experiences, or practical projects we want to complete. 

Some years that means planning regular family outings. Other years it might be travel, tackling something we’ve been putting off at home, or being more intentional about how we spend weekends.

This step creates a sense of shared ownership. Instead of everyone managing their own goals in parallel, we’re also working toward something collective. It makes it easier to prioritize time together during a busy year because it’s something we’ve already named as important, not just something we hope will happen if there’s time.

Step 5: Let it sit, then finalize

We don’t finalize anything on the spot.

Everyone gets time to sleep on their goals and revisit them with a clearer head. Small changes almost always happen at this stage, and that’s a good thing.

Once finalized, we write everything down in one place and keep it visible. Not tucked away in a notebook or buried in a forgotten document, but somewhere we’ll actually see it throughout the year.

Step 6: Revisit regularly, without drama

This is where the whole process really comes to life.

Once a month, we check in together. What’s going well? What feels harder than expected? Do any goals need adjusting or no longer make sense? 

Nothing is set in stone and goals can evolve as circumstances change and life inevitably gets busy. The point isn’t perfection or rigid follow-through. It’s accountability, flexibility, and staying connected.

These check-ins are short, imperfect, and sometimes a bit chaotic… but they’re also the reason this process actually sticks.

Why this works for us

Over time, we’ve seen a few clear benefits of following this 6-step process. The kids have become more self-aware, we talk more openly about priorities, and we follow through far more often than we ever did with traditional resolutions.

Most importantly, it’s something we genuinely look forward to. That alone tells me we’re doing something right.

This is just one way of approaching  New Year goal setting. If some parts resonate, take them and make them your own. The point isn’t to add another thing to your list, but to give yourself a calmer, more thoughtful way to reflect on where you’ve been and where you want to go next.

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